Season ender

Months pass by so quick...
It was January and the next thing you know, it's already December.

It's time once more to spend lavishly on presents.
Presents that you give out like sweat.
It's materialistic but the feeling of giving is absent
Is this the modern definition of Christmas now?

From all corners, all I see are people whining for presents
I want this, I want that
But does it really matter?
Did the Messiah's day of birth only meant as a day for giving of material possessions?

The truth hurts but most of us are like this
We only ask for gifts but we never understand the season
We tend to think "what am I getting this Christmas?"
Instead of thinking on how Christmas saved our own faiths

I'm no exception from this misfortune
I admit I think more on presents than what the season is all about
I'm pretty sure you think of the same dilemma
We're all on the same boat now

Before we start shopping at malls
Before we start calling relatives for a big gathering
Before we empty our wallets on gifts we give out lavishly
Let's give it some thought first, what is it really about?

About a man with an overly grown beard named Santa Claus
Or about Jesus Christ who saved us all from our own sins

Just for you...

Even if your name fades in my mind
Your sweet smile remains untouched
And though the years will eventually catch up
We'll always be looking back at this desired montage

Remember those childhood years?
Those years spent frolicking in the sand
The years where we never gave a care for the world
For everything that mattered was us and nothing more

But you we're always different
Someone that always stood out like a rose in a garden
Someone who treats me different unlike the rest
Someone who always cared to give me a frown than a smile

Adults call it phases but we called it rivalry
For there was never a time wherein we were at peace
Never a time where we exchanged laughs
For what we traded the most is words and fists

Cute? Back then that didn't mattered
For we we're always busy debating on superiority that never ended
But now I finally have the chance to look at your best
And I must say, I must have been blind back then

It's hard to remember someone like you
Since we parted ways at such an early age
And although no one rose victorious over our quarrels
I now admit my defeat in front of you

You left me to rot in my own loneliness
Like the sun vanishing in the skies
The silence without you was deafening
Enough to make an ordinary man cry

In those years of absence I always thought to myself
Was we cursed to never end this random fighting?
Or was there another version of our story
Of us being just so much more than what we truly are now...

---

Just something I was forced to make for ***** ^___^

It's always with you

With you I'll always be sure
That no matter what happens to us
We'll always be standing strong
Or until both of us falls

If I remember correctly, it has been six years since I left.
Since I left that beloved school of mine.
The faults it had didn't matter for memories made it strong.
Memories of the once young and naive.

Like a battalion we dispersed with time.
Moving on with our lives and ignoring everything back.
Old acquaintances didn't seem to matter but there was something always missing.
But every search made always ended up empty handed.

Life is tragic if loneliness is your best friend.
Believe me, I've gone there and back.
It's not for the full of cheer and joy.
Or it'll only kill you like an arrow piercing your heart.

Moving away from something once deeply treasured is truly painful.
But your choices didn't matter for someone else was in control.
And so, you follow every heed of the master like some kind of bought slave.
Until it all ends, and you're finally free from all chains.

Now rejoice for you have found what you lost.
Raise the wine glasses for a truly joyful celebration.
And now you have found it, make sure you never lose it again.
Or it will be the reaper's scythe you'll eventually find.

---

The crazy things a bored mind can make.

Seriously, why do I even bother writing this things that I can't even understand myself.
Talk about nonsense. =))

It's simply called...

A word as old as Adam & Eve
A word not limited to a novel long definition
Given life not by the book but the one who speaks it
It creates and at the same time destroys
It's love my dear ladies and gentlemen

I know you're thinking of her/him right now
While you listen to the tranquil and sentimental tunes
While you lay down at your bed and stare at the ceiling
It's like you have your own world inside that cranium of yours
Where the only people is the two of you

You can't help but wonder on what they're thinking of
Is it you occupying the current moment in his/her brain?
Do they find you as just the rest or as the one
Endless thoughts ramble as you roll with impatience
Until the sandman finally ends your torture of the night

I know you want to come out clean
and lodge everything inside that chest of yours out into a single phrase
But you can't for there is something stopping you
An invisible restraint that limits you from doing what you must
Everyone's been there but we all get pass it eventually
And now you wonder when will the word "eventually" come

Days, weeks, months, years
They grip unto you like some kind of force
It whispers to you that what you desire is achieved only in dreams
But you'll fight it
You'll fight with everything you got inside that will of yours
To tell that person those never old three words of wonder

---

uhmm...

The fucker man

It's epic, it's stupid, it's just embarrassing for both you and me.

Still can't forget that asshole who took my 20 bucks earlier. >........<

It was about 12 or 1 in the afternoon when I was waiting in a jeepney station for the vehicle to be filled with people so we can finally leave. The scenery was hot, hot, and did I mention, hot.

The jeepney rides have a flat rate of 18 pesos. No more student or senior citizen discounts. So, I took out 20 bucks and held it with my left hand and waited. I fell asleep moments later.

Some seconds later, I woke up. I looked at my left hand to realize that my 20 bucks are gone. Suddenly, the dispatcher asked for us to pay the fare. Trying to put the 20 bucks dilemma aside, I just took another 20 and paid the price.

Suddenly, A man in front of me reached something under my seat. I was thinking that he found my 20 bucks and was gonna return it to me or ask the remaining people on who owned it. I was wrong. He gave it to the dispatcher instead as his payment for the fare. That jerk.

I was pretty sure it was my 20 bucks. I looked around the scene and it looks like no one else saw 20 bucks lying under my seat. To make it worse, when a mid aged woman went inside to ask for some donations for a church, he gave the change from the stolen 20 bucks as his donation as if he was some kind of saint. Out of the extreme heat and rage, I pulled out a finger but in a manner that no one else would see besides the asshole.

He got the message and replied by doing the same thing. I guess he has no conscience. Unlike me, he's an idiot in aiming. People beside me though he was flashing his finger at them, hence they gave him a look that looked like they we're saying "point that finger at me and I'll break your balls off".

Out of humiliation, he stopped flashing and I continued mine. And so, I got out when the jeepney stopped beside the mall nearest to our house. I didn't feel any better though...

---

Probably Karma's way of telling me that I should have helped my friend earlier.... My deepest apologies to her... I'll try to make it up to her someday. ^__^

The blank schedule

Pretty much nothing happened this morning. As in, nothing happened besides seating in a chair for 5 hours staring at the windows hoping Rambo would pop out from nowhere.

I made a quick observation about the class though and the following were:

• The class is divided into groups as always.
• Majority of the students are males. I'll estimate about 95%.
• Air-conditioning is no good. The raging sun outdoors was practically cooler.
• There is still no professors assigned to our multiple courses.
• The classroom is beside the C.R. which is a good thing for me. =p
• There's not a single ---Censored--- in the class....

However, it's not all bad since I know some of the people there. At least I won't be a loner. I still miss having afternoon classes though since I hate waking up early in the morning. =__=

Oh well, I'll just stay curious on the remaining events.

---

Now for some of my plans for the week. Movie plans to be exact.

My plan this week is to watch that really awesome movie 2012 directed by Roland Emmerich.

In my opinion, the doomsday plot just never gets old. True, it has one end. The earth will be destroyed. But I think what most movie goers want to see is how it will happen. What I'm impressed about this movie is the awesome C.G.I.. This is a film you wont want to miss.

Trailer:

---

The rest of my movie plans are still far but I will be marking the release dates on my calendar.

1st will be the movie Legion directed by Scott Stewart.

I'm pretty sure this will be one of those controversial films since angels will be looked upon as the antagonists this time. Still, I'm gonna watch the film. The release date is January 22 2010.

Trailer:

---

And of course, the film The Last Airbender directed by M. Night Shyamalan. Pretty much, if you watch Nickelodeon's "Avatar: The Last Airbender", then this film will be probably the same except that of course many changes will be made... I'm having 2nd thoughts though if I should still watch this film. Oh well, it's one of my favorites so I'll try to appreciate the movie version. The movie will be released by summer of 2010... guess we'll have to wait ==___==

---

Here's the remaining list of movies I'm yearning for...

• screw the list.. I'll just wait for something good. >.<

In a failure's mind

Dreams of aspiration gone
Hoping for another chance destroyed
Living in a dark path taken
And the failure bids to another life

The people criticize a failure
As if they feel superiority over the weak
But the hidden truth will always stay
That they are failures of their own selves too

Hiding over the shadows
Looking over the people mock and such
A failure fails to understand
That why other failures act like gods

"Why" is the question to be solved here
Why must the poor be mocked
Why must the rich embrace greed
Why must failures be the ones on the lead

gods are failures
Nothing more than illusions
Only a persona seen behind a human's mistakes
Only a defense mechanism to stay sane

So who is the real failure here
The one's mocked or the gods?
The ones hiding in the shadow or the ones living in greed?
Truly everything now has gone tupsy turvy

It's ironic and yet comedic
The ones failing is seen laughing
And the ones succeeding is eventually lost
Just goes to show that nothing ends what they usually seem

---

Just a random scribble I thought up while eating. =3

Being different can be awesome too

Most of the people do not realize that we are all bounded to the invisible social infrastructure.

Because we are bounded to this, we are automatically punished and criticized when we go against the norms of society. In a way, it's like we're being stripped of some freedom.

We can never fully act to our own liking for society is always keeping an eye on us. Constantly watching until we make a wrong move that will go against the so called stereotyped social norms. A perfect example for this is homosexuality. A man or woman that acts their opposite counter is automatically criticized by society and granted as outcasts for they do not act within the norms.

What is depressing about this is the fact that some people are disgusted with the very sight of people acting beyond normal. Regardless if they did anything wrong, they are automatically seen as a black sheep of society. Just more reasons on why people can never get along. The problem about racism still has no end and yet, we're already dividing the community from people who act normal from the people who act what they want to act.

But being different doesn't mean that everything will be going downhill. It still has some advantages to. Being different gives you a sense of uniqueness, something that only you can do and what makes you yourself. It separates us from the stereotyped social culture and gives us a personality that can only be found in ourselves and no one else. It is this uniqueness that gives us a distinction from the rest of the crowd.

Whether you're gay, emo, gangsta, or just plain poser, be happy with who you are and if others hate it, then ignore them for they just stick to the social infrastructure. Have some freedom in yourself and never let your own distinction be taken away from the people who proclaim that what you're showing is wrong.

The day after disaster

And so the storm has passed
Faces of pain and anguish fill the ravaged scenery
Lifeless corpses float along the river
And as we look at the once beautiful scene, tears run down our eyes

We ask why
Why did it have to be them?
Out of the millions remaining, why them?
Why didn't you just take us instead?

There's nothing else to be done
The dead is dead and it's final
No amount of tears can change that
And no kind of suffering will help fix this

What's left to do is face everything with optimism
Sure the dead is dead but there are plenty of living victims who need you more
Victims who faced the storm head on
Victims who managed to outwit death itself

We may feel comfy in the haven of our own homes
But do we realize how many people lost everything?
Not just material possessions but fellow loved ones
And yet we feel joyful just because classes are suspended

How shameful of us
Not something to be proud of but something worth changing
So stop slacking and start acting
Now's the time to put our worth to the test

Rants, rants, & rants.

Ranging from preschool up to now, I've been called various names.
Some of those names, I curse beyond my grade.
Some of them, I tend to put interest in by actually using it.

Have you ever been called an idiot?
It's irritating. No?
But what's humorous about it is the fact that it doesn't bother you at all when you pertain that word to yourself.
I can call myself an idiot all day long and yet it doesn't bother me.
But if someone tries to criticize me of being an idiot, I swear I'll make you regret saying that word in front of me.
One thing that I always seem to see is that no matter how dumb you may be, there will always be someone dumber than you. That's only my opinion but I'm starting to believe that it has some truth in it.

On to the next rant.

Have you ever noticed that some of the people tend to befriend someone smarter than them?
Or maybe you see a group of people composing of intellectuals?
I used to ponder about that ever since elementary years.
And now I finally have an answer.
Intellectuals tend to stick to people who are either dumber, or as smart as them because of these reasons.
First, if they stick to dumber people, they will feel a sense of superiority over them.
Second, if they stick to people as smart as them, they'll be able to compete with them or communicate at the same level of mentality.
But the left out has a reason too for sticking to intellectuals.
If they stick to someone smarter, they also feel a sense of being intelligent because they spend time with someone of a superior mentality.
I say that's shit.
The only reason we stick to geniuses is to copy of their work.
I don't give a damn even if they bled to death by figuring out the results.
I'm sorry but that's just how it goes.
And goes the saying "Hindi mo kailangan maging matalino, kailangan mo lang maging mautak"

One last ranting before I get flamed by people who hates my very existence.

In the past few weeks, I was called a gay.
It first started with my nephew who called me that just because of my hair.
I didn't really mind it back then because he was always jealous of me having long hair.
Up to now, he keeps calling me that. Remind me to strangle him to death after a few years.
A few weeks later and another person called me gay.
No, it wasn't another relative.
It was from a friend, a close bitchy greedy friend.
It maybe because she was drunk when she told me this. Either way, our conversation still kept me thinking.
Not about because she called me gay but about what I had to do to prove I'm not.
Oh forget it, this will get me nowhere..

Parler à un état d'ébriété est inutile

Au diable ce

Normally, I don't type in French.

But tonight, I feel an urge to type some random thoughts in a language I don't even speak.

Je déteste le tartre.

I hate it more than any self possessed tramp that ever crossed path with me.

I hate it more than that worthless person who shared blood with me.

Je voudrais être un génie.

It's such a burden trying to dig all this information and yet no kind of treasure of knowledge fuses with your mind.

I spent hours trying to decode all this confusing ideas/equations/thoughts/theorems and yet I never get square one.

If only I can absorb everything a book contained. Like having a connection with a book through telepathy.

Or better yet, if only I had the ability to absorb another person's brain. That would be so amazing and horrific at such supreme levels.

Savoir, c'est pouvoir.

If that is true, then I'm obviously very weak since I can't fully grasp the knowledge.

Why did I even bother tackling a mind-incinerating major. I was at my peak at other types of majoring.

Oh well, I chose this. And so I'll die with this tattooed in my head.

Suis-je donner du sens?

Honestly, I have no idea.

I give a 90% yes that I am speaking in such retarded ways.

But I have no choice. It's better this way if someone makes a laugh of the things concocted in my brain.

Let's end the whining for now.

It's 3 in the morning and I have a test at Calculus, Filipino, and a paper in English that needs to be done.

adieu pour l'instant...

Wrong tracks

It's been a while since I wrote something here so I might as well remove the cobwebs here.

Saturday night.

For us students who study from Tuesday to Saturday at 12-5pm at a daily basis, Saturday is like paradise morphed into 24 hours.

For me personally, I love Saturdays.

The night is always young.

There's so much life during the wee hours.

Boredom is not a problem.

Only problem is, once you wake up the next day at someone's bed naked, then you're pretty much screwed my friend.

For me, I rather waste my Saturday night reading a book I never haven't even started.

Or maybe stimulate my mind by researching some cool facts.

But of course, There is always an 80% chance that I'll screw this night by wasting my time on nonsense.

Nonsense in a way that does not involve any liquors or sexual pleasures.

Alright, my classes today ended at 4:30 pm. If I'm correct, that class was computer.

Oh how I adore to send that professor 30 thousand miles away from my life.

Anyway, I chose to slack some time off before I go home by wasting it in a comp. shop.

Some hypocrite educators protested that slacking on this areas causes stupidity in the nation, I beg to differ.

They'll never know the fun of slacking time with friends. Sure beats studying any day.

Also, what I believe that the cause of stupidity in the nation is the incompetence of some hypocrite educators believing in their lies. That's just my opinion anyway.

Back to topic.

After spending 2 hours there, I bid my farewell and went on my way home.

The walk to the station was specially tranquil in an unexplainable sense.

Something mean't to be felt and not be given thought.

The LRT was cramped as always specially because it's a Saturday night.

After about 15 minutes of journeying through 8 stations, I rode off the LRT and proceeded to the Jeepney station.

I hated this part of my trip the most because everyone looked lifeless.

Everyone was sleeping while some just gave a blank stare into an endless panoramic view.

When I look to the left, someone is using my shoulder as a pillow.

To the right, a woman that always stares at me when I look to my right.

On my front, a bunch of people that can be mistaken for dead corpses.

While trying to manage the scene around, I myself just dozed off.

When we finally reached the nearest S.M. at our house, I climbed down and rode a trike to my final destination. Home not so sweet home.

Opening the gate, a scent started to tingle my senses.

Me being tired, I ignored on discovering what could that be.

While eating a quick dinner, someone asked me if I smoked a cigarette. I answered with the truth which was a no.

Another question came. She asked why did I smell like one. Of course I didn't know myself.

Combining stress, hunger, and irritation, I said that maybe she was smelling herself.

I thought that maybe she got the message to just shut up for now. Oh how wrong was I.

Last question, she asked if I was from a computer shop. Finally, I gave a loud answer.

"Yes, why?".

Apparently, she didn't liked my tone and started on her irritating speech.

Those same words, same phrases, same sentences. I wanted to slam the plate at the wall.

Or maybe slam the laptop in her face.

Instead, I just took out the earphones in my Polo's pocket and wore them on my ears while listening to loudest song I can listen to.

About maybe 3-4 minutes, she started to leave the room, finally giving me some peace.

Since then, my Saturday night has been pretty quiet and so far I'm really enjoying it.

Up to now, I wonder where did the cigar scent came from.

Was it from the girl on my left that always used my shoulder as a god damn pillow?

Was it the woman at my right who always stared at me like I was some kind of cuisine?

Did I subconsciously smoked a cigar on the way home?

Or maybe the scent just popped out from me reflecting my mood?

Oh well. This trivial questions will keep me intrigued for the hours ahead.

I'm tired.

I'm tired of listening to your every speech

I'm tired of being your instrument

You're instrument of disposal

You're only tool that only you can use

I'm tired of heeding your every call

I'm tired of being a slave

A slave for your selfish deeds

A slave that never gets his needs

I'm tired of being a toy

I'm tired of being used

Used for such stupidity

Used and disposed after loyalty

I'm tired of being at you're side

I'm tired of being your only hand

You're only hand that helps you up

You're only hand that never gives you up

I'm tired of listening to the word Love

I'm tired of seemingly involved in one

Involvement that does not give me anything

Only you and none for the word I

I'm tired of being yours

I'm tired of doing your every chore

Chores that make me look like a fool

And make you bloom like the morning's rose

I'm tired of thinking of you

I'm tired of seeing you

You who makes my world crumble down

You who we're once the king's glorious crown

I'm tired of being called only one

I'm tired of being your only one

Only one who does everything for you

Only one who suffers for the sake of you

I'm tired of giving you joy

I'm tired of calling you

Listening to your every speeches

Listening until the silent night ceases

I'm tired of being with you

I'm tired of loving you

I'm tired of serving you

And I'm tired of you

Karma Loves Me

Karma has been chasing me for a week now.

Wait, has it really been a week? Let me check.

Yep, 7 days in all.

The reward I earn for being ignorant is loving Karma.

Sure I made some wrong decisions, gave wrong directions, acted at the wrong moment, and more.

But I'm only a god damn human.

Like you, I have limitations and weaknesses.

Not like the almighty in the heavens, I have no capacity to keep up with everyday stress at a constant rate and yet you blame me for everything.

As Karma plays with me in every torturing waking moment, I constantly ask "why?"

Why me?

Why blame me for everything?

Why must you make me a bin for all the errors that you concocted?

Going on, I ignored everything that Karma threw at me including...

-The clothes that I washed earlier that quite mysteriously suddenly smelled awful

-The mysterious appearance of my new trait while sleeping

-The mechanical pencil and all other pens that suddenly disappeared

-The full load of schoolwork that I have to accomplish within 5 days

-The grueling thoughts about what next will Karma slam at my battered will

And as everything was going downhill for me, some bright light gave me some quick thoughts.

Because of Karma, I had to read, read, read like tomorrow was going to be Armageddon. Because of that, reading has become second natured to me now.

Because of Karma, I now keep myself awake at LRT's even though they're really cold.

Because of Karma, I realized that I can fall asleep even when standing up. Interesting.

Because of Karma, I now look behind my back at time to time.

Finally, Because of Karma, I almost aced my physics test. 1 more point and it could have been a perfect score.

So thanks Karma. Thanks for the love.

Did you ever wonder...

Did you ever wonder on why history was called history and not herstory?

Did you ever wonder that even though the female population outnumbers the men population, there is only a small number of women that lead?

Did you ever wonder why female writers we're so hard to find back then?

Did you ever wonder on why women wear stilletos even though it causes great pain?

Did you ever wonder on why the abbreviation "Ms." is changed to "Mrs." once she is married and yet the abbreviation "Mr." is not changed regardless of single or married?

Did you ever wonder why did the abbreviation "Mr." is always first instead of "Mrs." in invitations?

Did you ever wonder on what the world will be if it was led by women?

Did you ever wonder on why did man blame God for creating woman when they we're asked why they ate from the tree of knowledge?

So many questions left in my mind but all points to one reason.

Our world has been in utter chaos since the beginning.

Wars.

Corruption.

Unwanted deaths.

Destruction.

All of these happened under the rule of man.

When a man claims a higher position, he is praised.

When a woman claims a higer position, she must go through hell to even hear a single cheer.

Ever since the beginning, man has already claimed supremacy.

Ever wondered why it was called "Man and Woman" and not "Woman and Man"?

And for centuries, man has claimed the highest chair.

Throughout time, man has created outstanding marvels and claimed all glory for himself.

Man even created reasons and lies and contraptions to make him more supreme as ever.

I'm not going against my own gender or anything.

I'm just sharing on what I think.

You decide.

Oh yeah, did you know men created stilletos and not women?

And there is a special reason on why men love seeing women wearing stilletos.

And I'm not going to say why. Discover it for yourself.

Ego to blame.

It's the one who curses people day by day.

It's the one that wishes it had the capabilities beyond others.

It's the one that doesn't want to accept its own defeat.

It's the one that has a pride larger than any great wall.

It's the one that messes with your mind.

It's your ego and it can destroy your life.

Before, never did I thought that my life was ruled by my own ego.

Never giving a care to the ones I hurt.

Ignoring the ones who asked for help.

Criticizing anyone who made mistakes.

Justifying that my own mistakes should be correct.

I ignored my own wrongdoings and went on with my life.

Letting my own stupidity rule over my acts and thoughts.

Now that I finally managed to look behind the path I made, I see nothing but chaos.

On one side are the people that curses me to death.

On another side are the people I used for my own purposes without giving anything back or at least my own gratitude.

And finally, I look back on the people I've hurt so much.

I used to think that they we're the ones who hurt me first.

I gave myself a reason to hate them back not knowing that all this drama was the product of my own mind.

I hated them through ignorance, ignoring them as if no one occupied the space in front of me.

Never giving a care if my ignorance also hurt them back.

But thanks to that kid, that smiling kid, my ego crashed like a plane falling from the heavens above.

Giving me a taste of how painful can the gods hammer be.

And I waked up from a long trance.

A nightmare that played for years.

Although I can never swallow my own pride, with a little help, I broke it down without any hesitation.

The ego that smiles with the sight of chaos is no more.

All the stupidity I've done, all the pain I've caused, all the chaos I've commited, all of them I completely apologize for.

And though you may never want to forgive me as long as your soul exists, just grant me one wish and don't do what I've done to you...

Racism is bullshit.

Since the Engineering department had no classes for the past week, I burned my time doing nonsense.

While comitting to my nonsense, I found this game called (censored).

This is a Role Playing Game (RPG).

But not the kind of RPG wherein you slay an evil magical creature or fight endless battles using a huge sword and you never seem to die.

This type of RPG was like real life.

Real life as in you do what you do in your daily life.

Eat, get a job, sleep, and so on.

And one day, while playing in game, this scenario happens.

My character was waiting for a cab which seemed to never arrive.

And then, this guy pulls up in front of me and asks me if I want a ride.

Since I was pissed off waiting for the cab, I decided to accept his request.

While on the road, he asked me on my beliefs.

I asked him back on what kind of beliefs.

Was it about religion, government, or etc.

And he said government.

Before I could even reply to his question, he asked me If I believed in "white supremacy".

Being a guy that didn't want to be involved in complicated matters, I simply said "I don't know".

And then the scenario went worse.

He kept babbling about how he loves the "white supremacy".

I didn't know if he was still role playing or was he acting like a Nazi for real.

Because, I was so pissed off at his endless chatters, I said I believed in equality.

He suddenly stopped the car.

He asked me with anger if what the hell was I saying.

So I explained to that narrow minded racist that I believe in all races being equal and that no race should be claimed supreme or greater than the others.

He suddenly throttled the car and said I was a traitor of the white race.

And then he started another speech on how much a traitor I am.

I decided to just jump out of the car but he locked the doors.

I had no choice but to struggle his chatter.

And then he accelerated the car more.

Finally, he said people of my ideals should be killed and he went straight for a dead end.

Before the car slammed, he jumped out the door leaving me locked inside.

The car slammed at the wall and the car exploded.

And my character died.

The End.

Even in games, racism is still found on other people.

And this is the reason why wars never stop.

Here's a lesson for you, when someone who believes in a one race supremacy gives you a ride, just decline the offer. Even if you really know the person.

You'll never know if one day, you'll be found dead on a burning car.

Thoughts for the 1st week..

Previously, I cursed this schedule of mine.
Provoking war against every hour from 12 in the afternoon.
Blaming anyone that has no relevance to my cursed dilemma.
Pretty much, acting like a complete idiot.

First day.
Woke up at around 8 in the morning.
Ate an early lunch and did everything needed and left at around 10.
Back then when I had morning classes, Usually the climate was cold.
Now, I haven't even left the house and I'm already sweating.
Ignoring traffic, Ignoring the person smoking beside you during a jeepney ride, I arrived at about 11:30.
Pissed off to the highest point, I made my way inside the building.
First sight, giving out of fans that had writings about avoiding the flu and dengue.
Well that lowered my anger for a bit.
Still pissed, I went up the stairs while using the damn fan and sat at a bench until the cursed bell rang.
1st class, Literature. Led by a professor who likes to pose while teaching.
2nd class, no Prof.
3rd c;ass, no Prof. and so on.
After sitting at a chair for hours, I realized that this class was going to unleash all the layers of hell. And I gave a silent laugh. Disturbing isn't it?

2nd day.
1 Prof. showed up and no one came in the room until the day ended.
Wasted another day torturing my ass in a chair.
And then going home, a very clear idea came to me.
I'm cursed to never arrive home earlier than 7 in the evening. Sweet.

3rd day.
P.E. at about 7 in the morning.
The whole 2 hours was wasted with cheers and introductions.
Even now I wonder, why is it that I must always bring "6" balls and not any number less or more in Table Tennis? Does it mean I'm going to screw up for 6 times while playing? Cool.
9 up to 12, I wasted those hours in front of a computer.
Class started and there was an improvement.
2 Profs. showed up and then the day ended sitting again.
And the trip home took me "Four" god damned hours.

Current day,
2 profs showed up and I tortured my ass once again.
And I went ahead and bought myself a 2000 paged book. Thank you Physics.
Surprisingly, the trip home was relatively short.
Maybe I was given pity since everyone seemed to looked at my 2000 paged book.

Things I learned:
1. Keep your calm even though your group mates are complete lazy assholes.
2. Never make eye contact for a long time or don't make eye contact at all. Specially if someone didn't break eye contact for a long time. I'll never stare at her again.
3. Some Professors seem to have a blood compact with fellow Professors. Screw with one and you'll deal with an army.
4. Learn to love. Love a book I mean. Specially if that book is 2000 pages long. Happy reading.
5. Just laugh at the Prof's joke when he/she makes a dumb joke. Even if you want to throw him/her to the lowest layer of hell, Laugh.
6. Never "completely" trust someone's opinion. But I'm not saying don't trust me XD

Pretty much, I actually praised this dilemma of mine that I once cursed to the deepest layer of hell.
Interesting section, Interesting courses, disturbed professors, Oh we're heading for a good one.
Brace yourselves as all Armageddon unleashes.

Media's Retarded

It's been weeks since I watched the news.
It's probably because I'm not interested in watching the T.V. for now.
But what pisses me off is that the same news from weeks ago is still running up to now.

Yeap, it's that fucking sex scandal that seems to have no end.
For christ's sake people, don't you have anything better to do?
We're all tired of seeing that doctor, and his mom, and those other doctors in the T.V.
It just shows that the media would talk about sex rather than our country that is burning down to the ground.

And until now, the internet goes wild with those videos appearing from nowhere.

Another thing that the media loves to talk about is that H1N1 virus.
It's just a flu. It's not something to get crazy about.
All someone needs is quarantine if he's infected and he'll be fine.
It's not a virus worth going insane about.
When the media talk about it, it's like ARMAGEDDON is approaching.
For bullshit's sake, there are far more deadlier and more contagious viruses.
It's not like that the Spanish Flu who killed 50 to 100 million people suddenly went back to life.

Does the media even think about the upcoming elections?
They're treating it like nothing's going to happen.
With what's happening now, We rather have Erap as president again since no one really cares about whoever takes the presidential chair.

Final note,

The media would rather talk about sex and some weak virus rather than talk about pressing matters like the presidential elections or deadlier viruses like dengue specially with the rainy season we're experiencing.
What a lovely country we live in.
Now I'm thinking about Europe as the next best place to move in

Garena players at worse

Do you play Warcraft?
what about Left 4 Dead?
or even Counter Strike?

If you say yes to even one of those games, then you probably know Garena.

If you play those games and still don't know what Garena is, don't bother continue reading.

So let's start shall we.

Garena, a program used by gamers to connect their respective game with other gamers through the use of the internet.
It's a pretty convenient application if you ask me.
As long as you have the game, and of course the internet connection, then you're all set to go.
It's motto even says "Connecting World Gamers"

Although it connects gamers world wide, it also attracts narrow minded idiots.
Idiots who pay no attention to their fellow allies.
Big shots who think they can totally dominate a game by their own.
Idiots who quit once they're completely humiliated

There are even times when some people call Warcraft "DoTA"
For goodness sake, DoTA is just a map for Warcraft
And then you ask them what Warcraft is and then they're clueless to the name
it's ironic they play DoTA all day long and they don't even know what game they are playing

Next, connection issues.
Although Garena connects world gamers, it is still clear that you need a large bandwidth if you're going to host a game of many players.
During a game, and then someone begins to disconnect from the host.
The usual dumbass player will say (translated in english) "Tunnel! Tunnel him you idiot"
or "Stupid Host" or some other things
But when the disconnected player can't be saved by the host, the usual dumbass player will say things like (not translated) "Basura pc mo" or "de uling na pc" or some other nonsense

But SERIOUSLY, I'm betting that guy has a way better computer than the trashtalking idiot.
It doesn't mean that a player is disconnected, then his pc is automatically blamed.
Then again, idiots never actually pay attention to anything.

Lastly, it's depressing to see newbie players being slaughtered by cocky players
And whats worse, the newbie's allies seem to hate him more rather than to help.
Why can't some just understand that they we're once a newbie.
Then again, pawning noobs is not something to be proud about.

I'm not saying everybody is like this, only some.
I'm sure a lot of people can relate to this, people who actually use Garena anyway.

What having a fever taught me.

Still down with a fever.
Although not as worse as yesterday, I'm still pretty weak.
Weak not in a sense that I can't lift my own self.
But weak in a sense that I can't instantly heal myself.
Did it ever happen to you before that you should be doing something but instead your pretty much too weak or too lazy to do it.
So pretty much what I did the whole day was sleep, take my medicine, and sleep.
So much for a planned day.

Doing nothing except staring at the ceiling.
Looking at a fly revolve around the light bulb.
Hoping some miracle would happen such as a being would show up in my bed and give me some special elixir that could cure any disease.
or maybe the fly revolving around the light bulb would suddenly speak and say to me "lift your sick lazy ass already!"
Instead, I stared at the wooden ceiling whose paint is already coming off.

Now that I'm strong enough to get off my lazy ass,
I've realized that we're all just humans
We're the image of 99% perfection
We may look like perfect, we still have one flaw that counts for the remaining 1%
And though it seems I'm good at avoiding the illness of others.
Once it catches up to me, I'm pretty much useless as a bag of peanuts.

and on a final thought, it seems youtube suspended Jee Youn Kim a.k.a. sori1004jy
because of some freaking copyright issues.
Is it really that so damn wrong to make cover songs?!
It only shows you that there are people out there who takes pride in ruining others.

Shit at the beginning of June

It seems that 90% of everyone I know in UST is taking up "Table Tennis" as their P.E. course.
Some preferred that course while others took it up because it was the only thing left to choose.
Besides Social Dance anyway, which everyone seems to hate except for me. I don't know why.

A week from now and it's back to school.
Sleepless nights will come to another beginning.
Specially now that I have afternoon classes.
Say goodbye to sleep and say hello to Physics, Computer, and of course Calculus.
And I forget to mention, my P.E. classes are 7-9 in the morning and my classes starts at 12.
And it's clear that I can't go home between those free hours.
Pretty much, I'm screwed. Thanks God. Thank you very much.

Now for the bright side.... shit, there is no bright side.
Classes from 12 to 5 in the afternoon. 6 on Wednesdays.
A 7-9 am P.E. and 3 hours to spare to do what? besides sleeping anyway.
It's just like my 1st semester last school year.
Classes from 7-12 and P.E. at 3 pm.
Of course, P.E. back then wasn't all bad because that person was there. * oo, ikaw gago *
And to put the cherry on top, LTS (Literary Training Service).

Goodbye long hair *salamat talaga manong guard T_T *
they wouldn't let us in the enrollment until we cut our hair short.
And to top it off, the barber apparently screwed up how to cut hair.
*chismosong barbero!! hindi tinitignan ginugupit. palibhasa pinag uusapan nila ung lecheng walang katapos tapos na sex scandal*

Damn, I'm really screwed this semester.
At least I won't see that person again. * oo, ikaw pa rin leche *
Wish I just had a car so travelling wouldn't be a problem.
On second thought, fuel cost today is freaking expensive.

Let this post end now. Turbo Hamster, you know what to do.

Regardless who you may be, I'll still hate you ^^

Bored, Thinking of things I'll do to you if I hate you.

If you we're a guard, I'll still hate you
I'll grab your nightstick and hit you in the face
I'll grab your flashlight and pummel you to a pulp
I'll grab your gun and shoot you in the skull

If you we're a doctor, I'll still hate you
I'll grab your biology book and hit you in the face
I'll grab your pager and smash your hand
I'll use your stethoscope and strangle you until you fade out

If you we're a guitarist, I'll still hate you
I'll grab your guitar and hit you in the face
I'll grab your amp and smash you to a bloody pulp
I'll use your guitar string and strangle you to your last note

If you we're an addicted gamer, I'll still hate you
I'll grab your keyboard and smash your face
I'll grab the CPU and smash you to a bloody pulp
And I'll delete all of you characters until you can't take it anymore

Regardless who you may, I'll still hate you
I'll be here plotting every step of your demise
Whenever, Wherever, I'll still hunt you down
Until I see your corpse lying in the ground

----------------------------------------------------------------------

S
o

B
o
r
e
d
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XD

10 Thoughts for the weekend...

1. This song that seems to never escape my mind



2. Pizza hut's Lasagna Pizza that is surprisingly the 1st kind of pizza I hated. Honestly, The pizza was literally bombarded with Lasagna.

3. The word SOULIFICATION which I read from Daryl's blog

4. The flowers we left at my dad's grave



5. The book entitled Pandemic by Daniel Kalla which I'm currently reading. This book's plot is a little bit similar to our current virus outbreak problem.

6. Trigonometry, Advanced Algebra, and Solid Geometry finals next week. I'm pretty sure I should be studying now.

7. The feeling that I'm being left behind by the people I trust and that no matter how much I try to chase them, the gap never seems to shorten...

8. If I should start Photography as a new hobby. Photography seems to be an interesting hobby.

9. The movie Angels & Demons

10. Nina.... Who the hell is Nina? Seriously.

Seriously, who the heck is she? XD

Playlist on the fritz...

Daily Ritual:
-Wake up at about 5 in the morning
-Take a shower
-Wear my uniform
-Eat breakfast
-Plug in my earphones and start sound tripping
-Go to school for summer classes

Nothing out of the ordinary there.
Except for the fact that my playlist keeps repeating the same song over and over again even though it's on shuffle and "no repeat".

Example:
1st song - Papertin Hymn by Anberlin
2nd song - The Right to write me off by Amber Pacific
3rd song - Right where we left off by New Found Glory
4th song - The Right to write me off by Amber Pacific
5th song - All the small things by Blink 182
6th song - The Right to write me off by Amber Pacific
7th song - This is for real by Motion City Soundtrack
and the song repeats itself over and over again with 1 different song in between.
Weird eh?
Is it just a bug in the system or some kind of realization from the unknown?
Honestly, I really don't care on what's the reason behind it.
The only thing that bothers me is that every time this song plays, the usual image appears in my brain.
The image from the past that was long thrown in the shredder.
The image of her that I thought was already torn in shreds. Guess not.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some lyrics from the song...

"Can we make this last forever
With every word we're growing distant
And I feel as though I have to let you know

It's growing old to see us torn by every choice that I have made
In every instant you were right to write me off and move ahead
And I think I let you down, I throw it all away
I never meant to break it up or make you feel this way

It's getting colder through these walls that seem to thin to break us now
A perfect ending still in line though it seems our time is running out
And just a call from you would make this go away
I never felt this day would come, I'll never be the same"

Nonsense before midnight

Out of all types of people I've met, only one tempts me to break that person's neck.
Seriously, They're really pissing me to the last nerve.
They're called in words such as cocky, arrogant, brash, bumptious, certain, cocksure, conceited, confident, egotistical, hotdogger, hotshot, hubristic, know-it-all, lordly, nervy, overconfident, overweening, positive, presumptuous, self-confident, smart aleck, smart guy, smarty, smarty pants, swaggering, swollen-headed, vain, wise guy
but they're all the same.
So typical.
A simple worthless victory for them and they talk about it for days.
As if I care of all the Bullshit that comes out from their mouth.

I'll give you an example...
Consultation day back then during 2nd semester.
I still remember those people mocking us who failed.
But they mock us with what?
They mocked us with their "3" flat grades.
They think they're that smart against us?

I failed those subjects because I didn't have enough effort put into it but they fucking passed because they only cheated.

*I'll just vent out some anger on those people*
Akala naman nila kung sino sila.
Punyeta kala mo kung sino ka eh tres ka nga lang.
Lagi na nga kayong nandaraya pero tres pa rin kayo?!
Atleast kahit bagsak ako, hindi naman ako naging desperado para mandaya.
Hindi tulad nyong mga punyeta.
Pinagyayabang nyo pa sa akin ang grades nyong puro flat tres.
Atleast ako me uno sa ibang subject eh ikaw ni isang 2.5 wala.
Akala nyo lang mas magaling pa kayo sa amin dahil dyan?!
Tignan natin next year kung sino ang babagsak sa atin.
*done venting out all of my anger*

For now, I'll let them the taste of they're short victory.
They passed all because of the effort to cheat.
We know we didn't cheat.
We failed for we didn't have enough effort to study in the subject.
We know we have the brains, we're just not using them fully.

One of my professors once told us that
"The people who fail are the ones who will be victorious in the end"

Why won't you LOL

Bored + Too bored to think = Funny shit

First, here's a picture I took while riding the jeepney to the central LRT station



This probably has got to be the cheapest jeepney ever XD
*Note: This is a joke so don't take it seriously*

And after many hours of sleeping and a little bit of studying,
Here's what the web thinks of hilarious..


Purely Awesome and Painful XD


Well not really funny but still cute hamsters ^^


Mama Panda... pawned XD


Creepy...


Another creepy one...


Epic Win for the Inmates ^^

More to come once the net gives more XD

Freaking Floods

My classes were supposed to end at 12:30 in the afternoon..
And I usually arrive home at about 1:30 - 1:45pm

Unfortunately, I forgot to add the "Flood Factor"
Making the usual 1:30 - 1:45 turn into 6:30!!

It's amazing on how 45 minutes of rain could do this...

























































































































There was supposed to be a video showing kids bombarding water at passing jeepneys..
Unfortunately, I can't find it.. oh well

*My foot is killing me*

Some Advertisement....

Apologies but because of summer classes, I've got nothing to write for now. Sigh.

Anyways, after the 1st week of classes, my mind is totally empty.
Luckily, I've found a cool user on YouTube who rocks out with her electric violin.
IMO, she's pretty awesome XD

Here are some of her vids... *personal faves*

Her Website

P.S. Goodluck because the site's in korean ^^










Freaking Awesome!!!




"Konna ni Chikaku de..." originally by Crystal Kay and OST for Nodame Cantabile XD


LOL'ed at this one





Some titles we're in Korean so I didn't put it up..

In the midst of paranoia

Isn't it annoying when you start suspecting your family?
Doesn't it make you enraged when you start distrusting friends?
Well I do
and it's eating my mind

It's like the final option when you just don't know who to blame
When everyone pretends to be the innocent
When everyone puts on the mask of innocence
Until you start losing trail of the perpetrator

Simple mishaps that casually occur in you
When it pisses you to a boiling point
You start blaming your loved ones for your own errors
Pointing every detail of your own stupidity and blaming it on the unsuspecting

When you are blamed for something you are clean
Even when you try everything
Just to prove your innocence
It just seems that the odds are against you
And no matter how much words are spoken
And no matter how much pleads are given
And as you kneel as your last resort
You are still blamed
You receive a punishment that was uncalled for
And as your pulled to your own cell
You see the one who blamed you laughing
And you see everyone around you bowing
And everything becomes clear
They know your innocence and yet they kept silent

When you are humiliated
You are enraged
You feel that blaming is not enough
And as your vision darkens
Your own sanity turns into a berserker bent on pain
Hurting everyone around you
Until everyone is down on the floor bleeding
And as your sanity returns
You see the product of your own hands
And you thrust the final blow on yourself

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Everyone hates it when they are blamed for the stupidity of others
But everyone loves to blame others for their own misfortunes

Everyone thinks they know every way out of a tight spot
So they can avoid the punishment that they truly deserve

They're escapists of their own faults
They think of a way to come clean
They think of a way to hurt the innocent
They blame the unknowing of their own stupidity
Loved ones or Friends, there are no excuses for them
They'll blame them all as long they come clean

But the day of reckoning will come
And they'll receive it a thousand times worse
Not as a quick death
But as a long and painful torture
And as they scream for mercy
The punisher laughs and reveals his/her identity
As the once innocent that was blamed by the escapist

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Never will I give in to paranoia...

Caroline's last goodbye...

Before we start, please read the previous post titled "An almond for Caroline"
Why? Because this is the continuation and the conclusion of my story...

Let's continue. Shall we?

As I said previously, we spent summer vacation together as best friends before college life started.
We got to catch up on what happened during that 4 years without any means of communication.
What happened to those 4 years of hers was nothing special.
She met new friends, new kind of life, just the ordinary type of life.
But what pondered me was the fact that she didn't even had a boyfriend.
Why? Trust me when I say this that she's the kind of girl that guys chase often.
When I asked her why she didn't have a boyfriend.
She laughed and said... "Why? hmmm... I was saving the spot for someone really special hahaha"
I disregarded my question and went on with everything.

So after my 1st semester, 2nd semester started and that was a disaster on my account.
Not that I regret what happened during my 2nd semester, it's just that... well... this is another story so let's carry on with Caroline. XD
And so, It was Christmas Vacation.
The moment of truth.

During Christmas Vacation, I asked my mom if it was possible to have a vacation at laguna because I found out that Carol's house is close to one of my relative's house. Ironic eh?
It's about a jeepney ride away between the two houses.
Fortunately, mom agreed. Road Trip!!

I surprised Carol with the news that I was going to visit her for the rest of the Holiday season.
I didn't know if she was happy or not, she only laughed and smiled.

And so, we arrived at laguna.
Beautiful place.
Clean Atmosphere.
Beautiful scenery.
Pure awesome. XD

When we arrived at our relative's house, it was about 3-4 in the afternoon.
We we're welcomed with a late lunch and a lot of stories followed.
I called Carol to ask her how will I go to her place.
She didn't answer the phone.
I disregarded the fact of her not answering so I just threw my phone back in my bag.
And so the whole day was focused on my mom talking with other relatives.
Some of them was a complete blank to me.
Some, I couldn't even believe I'm related to them.
Unfortunately, no one there was at the same age was me so it was really depressing on my account.
BTW, this was the 24th of December but I'm not going to tell what happened during the midnight that followed because my relatives took all the fun.
Yeap, they spent it drinking. XD

The next day...
It was the 25th..
It was sort of depressing because the whole night, Carol didn't return any of my calls.
When I waked up, I looked at the clock and it said 5:30 am.
I was going to return to bed but then someone called on my phone.
Disregarding on who's calling, I answered the phone and said "Yello" (supposed to be hello but changed into yello because I just woke up).
I was surprised by the voice on the other line. It was her.
She apologized for not answering my calls yesterday. She said her phone was on the fritz and so she used someone else's phone.
She asked me if I could join her during the 25th because no one was at her home. Her family was at the beach.
I accepted the offer but on the condition that we would meet at the guard outpost at the gate of the village. She laughed, said ok, hanged up.
We met at about 11 in the afternoon.

So we left and went for her house.
During the seemingly short trip, I was surprised that she was holding my hand again.
Disregarding that, we arrived at her house.
It was huge! No exaggeration.
When we went in, no one was really there. It was empty.
I asked if there we're any maids, she said there's two but their on vacation.
We went to the what she called was an "entertainment room".
The room had a huge TV, a lot of different stereos, and a pile of dvds at the center table.
It was clear that we were going to spend the day watching movies.

Before we began, she searched the pantry for almonds.
While she was looking, I inspected the movies and said "shit".
It was all about romance.
Imagine a guy that is into gore and violence watching nothing but kisses and more kisses.
As a friend, I endured those stack of movies.

Halfway with the stack of movies.
I started to fell asleep.
Suddenly, I was woken by something falling on my shoulders.
I opened my eyes and saw her lying on my shoulders.
Then something touched my hand.
It was her hand over my mine.
She was still watching the romance movies.
She was so hooked at the movie that she didn't realize that her head was already lying on the my shoulders.
I didn't move a muscle.
Why? because I really liked her...
Although we had no relationships except for being friends, we looked like so much more.


Finally...
She realized what was happening.
She quickly apologized to me.
I said that it was okay, but I really wanted the moment to last longer.
We both exchanged with smiles.

The day was coming to a halt.
It was starting to get darker outside.
I felt that I needed to say what I really felt.
I felt that if I never say this, I would not have another chance.
I didn't want to lose her...
I was willing to do everything just not to lose her...

It was the last movie of the day...
It was now or never..
A few minutes more and the movie would end...
And what was supposed to be the best day would end as well...

I said the following at her....

Boy: Uhmm... Carol?
Girl: Yeah?
Boy: nothing.. hehe
Girl: hehehe
Girl: What do you think of the movie?
Boy: Hmmm it's alright
Girl: Obviously your not watching
Boy: Huh?
Girl: You think it's alright if they just went on with their lives without telling one another that they liked each other?
Boy: Ok, you got me there
Girl: hehehe Oh yeah another question
Boy: What?
Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: What??!! *Surprises*
Girl: Nothing hehehe
Boy: Here's your answer... yeah
Girl: No kidding?
Boy: Look at you... who in the right mind wouldn't fall for you
Boy: You have looks, intellect, and a kind personality to top it off
Girl: Really? well what you say if I liked you too?
Boy: What's left to say?
Boy: *Holds girl's hand*
Girl: *Smiles and gives a kiss on the boy's cheek*

Oh how romantic...

She walked with me to the jeepney station.
She said her goodbye with a smile and turned around to walk home.
Our hands separated...
I said bye to Carol... She turned back and smiled again and said "Tomorrow?"
I said sure.

Best Christmas I've ever had but everything ended so young.
The next day, I overheard from a group of people that a girl was ran over by a truck because of a drunk driver.
What caught my attention the most was the spot they we're talking about is close to Carol's house.
When I called Carol's phone, the line was busy.
When I called her mom, I was greeted by a loud sober.
I asked what was the matter.
She said Carol's dead.
I dropped my phone.....

I never thought last night was her final goodbye. Her last kiss. The last feeling of her warmth.

I just like to say this is just fiction.
Any person named in this story that you know is purely coincidental.

Again, this is just fiction.