Caroline's last goodbye...

Before we start, please read the previous post titled "An almond for Caroline"
Why? Because this is the continuation and the conclusion of my story...

Let's continue. Shall we?

As I said previously, we spent summer vacation together as best friends before college life started.
We got to catch up on what happened during that 4 years without any means of communication.
What happened to those 4 years of hers was nothing special.
She met new friends, new kind of life, just the ordinary type of life.
But what pondered me was the fact that she didn't even had a boyfriend.
Why? Trust me when I say this that she's the kind of girl that guys chase often.
When I asked her why she didn't have a boyfriend.
She laughed and said... "Why? hmmm... I was saving the spot for someone really special hahaha"
I disregarded my question and went on with everything.

So after my 1st semester, 2nd semester started and that was a disaster on my account.
Not that I regret what happened during my 2nd semester, it's just that... well... this is another story so let's carry on with Caroline. XD
And so, It was Christmas Vacation.
The moment of truth.

During Christmas Vacation, I asked my mom if it was possible to have a vacation at laguna because I found out that Carol's house is close to one of my relative's house. Ironic eh?
It's about a jeepney ride away between the two houses.
Fortunately, mom agreed. Road Trip!!

I surprised Carol with the news that I was going to visit her for the rest of the Holiday season.
I didn't know if she was happy or not, she only laughed and smiled.

And so, we arrived at laguna.
Beautiful place.
Clean Atmosphere.
Beautiful scenery.
Pure awesome. XD

When we arrived at our relative's house, it was about 3-4 in the afternoon.
We we're welcomed with a late lunch and a lot of stories followed.
I called Carol to ask her how will I go to her place.
She didn't answer the phone.
I disregarded the fact of her not answering so I just threw my phone back in my bag.
And so the whole day was focused on my mom talking with other relatives.
Some of them was a complete blank to me.
Some, I couldn't even believe I'm related to them.
Unfortunately, no one there was at the same age was me so it was really depressing on my account.
BTW, this was the 24th of December but I'm not going to tell what happened during the midnight that followed because my relatives took all the fun.
Yeap, they spent it drinking. XD

The next day...
It was the 25th..
It was sort of depressing because the whole night, Carol didn't return any of my calls.
When I waked up, I looked at the clock and it said 5:30 am.
I was going to return to bed but then someone called on my phone.
Disregarding on who's calling, I answered the phone and said "Yello" (supposed to be hello but changed into yello because I just woke up).
I was surprised by the voice on the other line. It was her.
She apologized for not answering my calls yesterday. She said her phone was on the fritz and so she used someone else's phone.
She asked me if I could join her during the 25th because no one was at her home. Her family was at the beach.
I accepted the offer but on the condition that we would meet at the guard outpost at the gate of the village. She laughed, said ok, hanged up.
We met at about 11 in the afternoon.

So we left and went for her house.
During the seemingly short trip, I was surprised that she was holding my hand again.
Disregarding that, we arrived at her house.
It was huge! No exaggeration.
When we went in, no one was really there. It was empty.
I asked if there we're any maids, she said there's two but their on vacation.
We went to the what she called was an "entertainment room".
The room had a huge TV, a lot of different stereos, and a pile of dvds at the center table.
It was clear that we were going to spend the day watching movies.

Before we began, she searched the pantry for almonds.
While she was looking, I inspected the movies and said "shit".
It was all about romance.
Imagine a guy that is into gore and violence watching nothing but kisses and more kisses.
As a friend, I endured those stack of movies.

Halfway with the stack of movies.
I started to fell asleep.
Suddenly, I was woken by something falling on my shoulders.
I opened my eyes and saw her lying on my shoulders.
Then something touched my hand.
It was her hand over my mine.
She was still watching the romance movies.
She was so hooked at the movie that she didn't realize that her head was already lying on the my shoulders.
I didn't move a muscle.
Why? because I really liked her...
Although we had no relationships except for being friends, we looked like so much more.


Finally...
She realized what was happening.
She quickly apologized to me.
I said that it was okay, but I really wanted the moment to last longer.
We both exchanged with smiles.

The day was coming to a halt.
It was starting to get darker outside.
I felt that I needed to say what I really felt.
I felt that if I never say this, I would not have another chance.
I didn't want to lose her...
I was willing to do everything just not to lose her...

It was the last movie of the day...
It was now or never..
A few minutes more and the movie would end...
And what was supposed to be the best day would end as well...

I said the following at her....

Boy: Uhmm... Carol?
Girl: Yeah?
Boy: nothing.. hehe
Girl: hehehe
Girl: What do you think of the movie?
Boy: Hmmm it's alright
Girl: Obviously your not watching
Boy: Huh?
Girl: You think it's alright if they just went on with their lives without telling one another that they liked each other?
Boy: Ok, you got me there
Girl: hehehe Oh yeah another question
Boy: What?
Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: What??!! *Surprises*
Girl: Nothing hehehe
Boy: Here's your answer... yeah
Girl: No kidding?
Boy: Look at you... who in the right mind wouldn't fall for you
Boy: You have looks, intellect, and a kind personality to top it off
Girl: Really? well what you say if I liked you too?
Boy: What's left to say?
Boy: *Holds girl's hand*
Girl: *Smiles and gives a kiss on the boy's cheek*

Oh how romantic...

She walked with me to the jeepney station.
She said her goodbye with a smile and turned around to walk home.
Our hands separated...
I said bye to Carol... She turned back and smiled again and said "Tomorrow?"
I said sure.

Best Christmas I've ever had but everything ended so young.
The next day, I overheard from a group of people that a girl was ran over by a truck because of a drunk driver.
What caught my attention the most was the spot they we're talking about is close to Carol's house.
When I called Carol's phone, the line was busy.
When I called her mom, I was greeted by a loud sober.
I asked what was the matter.
She said Carol's dead.
I dropped my phone.....

I never thought last night was her final goodbye. Her last kiss. The last feeling of her warmth.

I just like to say this is just fiction.
Any person named in this story that you know is purely coincidental.

Again, this is just fiction.

An almond for Caroline...

I'll tell you a little story of a very good friend of mine...

First of all, introductions. This girl's name is Caroline *surname confidential* but we preferred to call her Carol. Unusual name I have to say.
Carol was my friend since... well since preschool. Pretty long eh?
Out of all the people I've met, she was the only one who was so into Almonds.
She was so into Almonds that she didn't even care what her gifts would be as long as its Almonds. Maybe that's exaggerating too much but I can say that she's addicted to that stuff.

Back at preschool, she was my seatmate so it was clear that I was going to befriend her.
At first, I always wondered on why did she have almonds on her lunch box.
I forgot to mention, she was so greedy with those freaking almonds.
And because of that, I started to dislike her but after a while I befriended her again with the use of almonds. Almonds @_@

Ever since preschool, we we're always together.
We always sat together.
We ate lunch together.
Did our schoolwork together.
Heck, the only thing separated us was the bathroom.
It was pretty clear that she was my best friend.
We were practically together always until we graduated Elementary.

After graduating elementary, we started to lose our close bonding.
Our means of communication started to disappear.
As if that wasn't worse enough, her family decided to move because of unknown reasons.
The week before the first day of high school started, we bade our goodbyes and hugged for the last time.
And because of the sad atmosphere, I forgot to ask where she was going to move and how will I contact her. And of course, she forgot to tell those details too.
To add to the irony, no one freaking knew where her family was going to move. Looking back at that time, it was hilarious.

And so, life moved on.
As High school life moved on, I started to forget my sweet friend.
During the 1st year of high school, I always missed her.
Wishing I could call her but I can't because I don't even know what the number is
Sometimes, I started to pick up the phone and stare at the numbers wishing that I would know what to press and that the person who would pick up the other line would be Carol.
Alas, it ended with a lot of wrong numbers and prank calls. XD

From Sophomore to Senior year, I completely forgotten about her.
Who she was, when her birthday was, it was all a blank now.
And so, high school life ended.
And at the graduation, I started to wonder.
While looking at the spot where my mom, sis, and bro-in-law were sitting.
There was someone beside them and by the looks of it, that person was known by my mom and sis.
And after the graduation ceremony, I asked my sis who that person was.
My sister said only one word. Caroline.

When I said hi to Carol while she was looking back, she quickly turned to me and gave me a hug.
Suddenly I remembered. The last hug I got from her was 4 years ago.
I gave her a hug also.
I missed that warm hug of hers.

To celebrate graduation, we went on some restaurant at MoA (Mall of Asia).
While talking to my best friend I started to stare at her. *No evil thoughts here*
While looking at her I said to myself, She has changed. Changed a lot.
Her face was different.
Her voice was more soothing now.
Her body, well I'm not going to describe this anymore. XD
But out of all the changes she went through, there was still one thing same about her.
Her craving for freaking Almonds.
I can't even believe she pulled out a pack of almonds from her bag and when I looked inside her bag, it was filled with those freaking almonds. Addicted too much?

After eating, we went for a walk to catch up while the rest of the family went sightseeing.
At first, she was really talkative. Not like before wherein she was just silent.
She really talked so much that I just pretended to listen.
After a while, I realized she was holding my hand the whole time we we're talking.
Maybe I'm just not used to holding hands anymore.
Then she told me that she was staying at an apartment with her parents because she was going to attend college in manila.
She also apologized for not saying where she was going to move 4 years ago.
I just laughed at the irony. She laughed with me.
BTW, if anyone was wondering, she moved somewhere in laguna.

This is clearly not a little story anymore.
Anyways, let's move on with the story.


We spent the summer together.
I got to met her parents a lot more also.
But when I always look at her, I always had the feeling that we'll just be friends and nothing more.

So College life started.
I enrolled at University of Sto. Tomas while she enrolled at *Confidential sorry*.
We really never got to communicate much during my first semester.
But we always had our bonding times from time to time.
And so my 1st semester ended and 2nd semester started.
All was well until Christmas vacation.
This was when tragedy happened.

---To be Continued--

Can you prolong the silence?

Yeap, the movie "Dead Silence" is still freaking tattooed in my brain.

Now, can you refrain from screaming when a face like
this pops up?

Watching this flick yesterday kept me awake the whole night with the lights on. I fell asleep at about 4 in the morning. Yes I know, it's pathetic.

Anyways.. back to reality.

It's pretty boring with my remaining vacation days and yet why do I have the feeling that I still have a lot of things to do?

Strange. A minute ago, I knew what I was going to write and now I completely forgot.

So until I remember what I was going to write, I'll just advertise these two albums.

First is "Not Without a Fight" by New Found Glory

and second one is "Even if it Kills me" by Motion City Soundtrack

Trust me, they're pretty awesome ^^

Crazy stuff...

Two wrongs don't make a right. Although, two idiots have endless potential for disaster.

They say to never trust the predictable... why? because you won't know when they'll do something different that can lead to a disaster.
Unlike the unpredictable, you'll always expect them to do something different.

Two days since panic day. Even now I still can't believe I almost gave up everything on something as worthless as fucking grades. After all, great minds didn't start out with victories... most of them started with failures before they reached the dawn of appreciation.

So earlier today, I was surfing the tv channels to find something good and then I reached a channel showing the flick "Dead Silence"

At first, the movie was pretty boring but when Mary Shaw frequently shows up, it started to give me the chills. The cruel irony is that the one who kills the lead actor is the one he least expected. Why is it that most horror films have this kind of plot?

And so it gave me an idea. What if the person closest to you is not really human? What if he/she is actually an alien in disguise or maybe a supernatural being in physical form or maybe another being from another dimension? Think about it.

I remember a friend of mine saying that for every 200 people you meet everyday, 2 of them are ghosts. Oh yeah, she read that from "Readers Digest" if anyone is asking. So from the 200 people you meet, what if you fell for one of them and unfortunately that was the ghost. How sad and yet creepy.

If only I was a puppet like Mary Shaw who was turned into one by request on her death. Well not a full puppet anyway... I want to have human like figure and not a typical puppet whose mouth always moves in only one direction. I'll have the opportunity to leave forever or at least until my parts break down. Though, it'll be sad to not have any emotions. then again, you don't have a heart in the first place so you'll never feel the sadness or any other emotion. Just a vessel for a soul...

"Beware the stare of Mary Shaw; She had no children, only dolls; And if you see her in your dreams, Make sure you never, ever scream."
Because if you scream... It's all over...

Damn... Those puppets are still stuck in my mind and so is that overly creepy face of Mary Shaw.

What the hell?! It's 2:30 in the morning?!

Suicide? Not yet...

This is my opening remark... "I hate my professors in trigo, adv algeb, and solid geom...
I hate those people to the very point of insanity.

You know another thing I hate?
I really hate it when the people who cheat pass rather than the people who worked their asses off just to pass but unfortunately fail.
I guess there's nothing to say but I'm a complete idiot.
And according to a thesaurus, I'm a blockhead, a bonehead, a cretin, a dimwit, a dumbbell, a dunce, a fool, an ignoramus, an imbecile, a jerk, a moron, a nincompoop, a ninny, a nitwit, a pinhead, a simpleton, stupid, tomfool, and a twit.

Consultation day.. I arrived at school with no worries at my side. Why? Because I know I did my best during the final examinations. Not just my best but everything my brain contained up to the last variable of an equation. I thought I was going to pass but I was wrong. Dead wrong.

1st consultation.. Advance Algebra.. In this subject I really gave everything.. and when I read the list of final grades, I had a quick chill to my spine.. I failed. I looked at my test results.. I passed the final examinations with a high mark but it simply couldnt handle my low results from the early quizzes.. And so the start of my day was a complete disaster.

2nd consultation.. Solid Geometry.. this was my 2nd disaster.. students we're packed outside the room like sardines.. The air literally smelled like sardines.. and when I saw the results.. Another shot right down to my chest.. another failure.. Damn.. I'm such an idiot.. Pretty much from here I was getting paranoid.. I saw everyone around me laughing and smiling... I was getting jealous of them so I just smiled with them to hide the product of my supreme stupidity..But inside, I wanted to die at the very spot I was standing on.. I wanted my existence to cease at that very moment... literally...

3rd and last consultation... Trigonometry.. The professor who had a breath worse than a public toilet that was left unflushed for weeks.. The professor who made jokes that only he understood.. The professors who I really wanted to hit his face with a laptop or better yet a door.. in this subject, I still managed to gather my composure.. the room was packed with students one more.. He made everybody line up so he could show everyone their respective grades.. Oxygen in the room was running low and so is my composure.. Finally it was my turn... He showed my grade and suddenly everything stopped... everyone was quiet in my mind... every disturbance dissappeared.. all left was me and that paper containing my grade.. another failure.. now at 3 failures, I was close to breaking down...

I rushed outside as quick as possible... I went to the nearest C.R. to gather what was left of my sanity.. fortunately, I was still in control.. I rushed home.. ignoring everything.. ignoring everyone.. my mind, a complete blank..

When I got home, no one was around.. I threw my bag at the sofa and locked myself at my room..
I tried to cry that afternoon but what was weird is that no tears went out my eyes... I just fell asleep trying to gather the tears out my eyes... That night, I was really on the verge of suicide.. All this time, I was trying to make fun of suicidal idiots.. but I was becoming one of them.. I was ready to end everything that night.. I even made a suicidal note.. I was going to slit my wrist but then a tear ran down my eye... I dropped the razor.. I started crying like never before... Years worth of keeping my tears to myself suddenly went out... I cried the whole night trying to blame everything on me and then on God and then back on me once more.. I fell asleep...

I woke up but this time it felt like I was numb...

Curtain call for now.

The crowd goes wild and applauses while I bow for my curtain call.

My show has come to a concluding part.
This series was filled with ups and downs but mostly downs.

It was a gleeful run but all things must have an expiration.

I wrote every part of this show that gave disquiet to my own thoughts.
From the very irritating professors to the very last person that I bade farewell.

What a sad conclusion to this journey that had no definite end. But on second thought, the journey already had a depressing beginning.

As I bow, the crowd threw roses at me but others threw rotten tomatoes at me. Why? I have no idea also.

Some of the people commented that I gave a good show, some even said that I should be a jester that is doomed to be chained up in the dark dungeons of a castle.

Some asked me if I embraced the dark or did I embraced the light. I replied with twilight, a time where both sides meet.

As I peek behind the curtains and look at the leaving crowd, one idea came to my mind.
There will be no encore after this.
But will they want a new show? or will this truly end and fade in their minds as time passes by?

It's midnight and I'm preparing to leave the stage. There's only one more light lit up in the stage. No one is seating in the chairs. Not a single soul remained after the show.

But wait.. who's the silhouette rising from behind the dark?
As the unknown approaches the lit stage, it takes form and a familiar face is shown.
The last person I expected to show up, not the less wait for me until everyone else is nowhere in sight.
As she walks toward me, music plays in the dark and she held my hand.
We danced until the night reached its expiration.
And as the rays of sunlight begins to shine her face, she disappears into the air.
And the shows goes to a concluding halt.

Going on Hiatus...

Yeah, the title says it all...

I'm going on hiatus indefinitely...

But before I go on hiatus, I'm going to post on the 15th...
After that, there'll be more rantings for a while...

Reason for hiatus...
- Personal Issues..
- School...
- School...
- Mostly School XD

F*ck this, F*ck that.

Back in High School, I remembered peeking at the back page one of my classmate's notebook because I was bored. I saw this this writing at the very last page of his notebook. I remembered his writing to every word.

What's the point of teachers if they only lead us to our failures.
People say they are our guiding light but their more of a trap.
They barely teach us anything, as a matter of fact they don't teach at all.
They rather let the F*cking book do the talking than use their own thoughts.
Heck, I'm spending my parent's money on teachers who are worthless.
If they only let the book talk, then why don't I just drop out and spend my time reading this damned books.
The real competent teachers are running out.
If not getting fired because of economic reasons, they're retiring for their job well done.
The completely worthless teachers blame us for our own failures even though in truth, they're the reason behind it.
I hate those worthless teachers. I hate their way of teaching. Let them burn in hell for all I care...

I didn't really memorize it. I just copied what he wrote in my notebook. *Yes, I had a lot of free time*
At first I said to myself that this guy must be really stupid because even though the teacher just lets the book teach, the subject was purely easy.

But now, I'm starting to realize that not all subjects can be learned with only the use of books.
I can even relate to every word he wrote.
My professors are shit. Well not all but some.
I'm jealous at my other block mates who really doesn't seem to put any importance to math and yet they're the one excelling.
I'm starting to think if I'm even cut out for my major.
I'm good at other subjects but when it comes to math, it's 50-50 if I'll pass. But now, the chances are 80-20 that I'll fail in math.
Well I can't do anything about it... I made a promise to finish this major no matter what it takes. Even if the costs are fatal...

Silence Breaker...

It has been 4 months, 3 weeks and 3 days since that faithful day...
Since that day, only silence remained between the two of us...
I thought had enough time to get over the joyous memories we had but...
Out of that 4 months you called my name again... and everything fell back to the very first day we met...

This is the question that is tattooed in my mind... why?
why did she have to torment me more by breaking the solid silence...
I thought it was over... I thought both of us moved on...
But why?

I accepted the fact that you will hate mo for the rest of our existence...
did that conversation contained any personal messages...
or was it as they call "just business"
either way... it doesn't change anything between us... or does it...

Is this a God given chance to fix the broken lace of friendship...
Or is this one of the tricks of Loki that could send me back to the pit of sorrows..
Did that dream about the several coffins have any connections with this dilemma...
Why do I even bother think about these silly thoughts...

All I can say for now is.. Goodnight...

Random band names and albums...

Because I was bored, I decided to read my multiply inbox which I rarely do. While browsing through the pages, I found this post from one of my friend "Alyssa"

Here's how the post goes...

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Band name (out of the blue)

The instructions:

1 - Go to "wikipedia." Hit “random articles”
or click Here
The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.


2 - Go to "Random quotations"
or click Here
The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.


3 - Go to flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”
or click Here
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 - Use photoshop or similar to put it all together.

5 - Tag your friends to do the same.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After laughing for a while, I decided to do this and it came out with this....

1- I got the article entitled "1884 of Wales"

2- The last five word's I've got was "We're free to do anything"

3- I got a pic of somewhat a flower

4- Photoshopped it and got this outcome...

First Version:

Second Version:

Which do you think is better?
I on the other hand think that both of the pics really suck...

I really need practice... XD