Christmas love...

It was the afternoon of December 25...
The day was fairly sunny...
A perfect day for outdoor activities...
But two people spent the day indoors...

They wasted the precious time that could have been spent with relatives or family...
But for the two of them, it was the best day of their December...

Their day started with a full load of movies...
A whole day spent watching movies that they have already seen a thousand times...
But it didn't matter because spending a day with just the two of them is already something God-given...

Majority of the movies we're all about romance...
The boy was starting to be bored to death...
When the boy looked at the girl, she was crying...
The girl always cried in every sad moment of the movies and of course in every happy endings...
The boy asked the girl "why are you crying?"
The girl answered "It's nothing..." followed by a quick smile...

Halfway with the stack of movies...
The boy started to fell asleep...
Suddenly... he was woken by something falling on his shoulders...
He opened his eyes and saw her lying on his shoulders...
Then something touched his hand...
It was the girl's hand over his hand...
The girl was still watching the crappy movies...
She was so hooked at the movie that she didn't realize that her head was already lying on the boy's shoulders...
The boy didn't move a muscle...
He was savoring the moment with her...
Although they had no relationships except for being friends...
They looked so much more more than friends...

Finally...
The girl realized what was she doing...
She quickly apologized to the boy...
The boy said that it was okay... but the boy wanted the moment to last longer...
They both exchanged with smiles...

The day was coming to a halt...
It was starting to get darker outside...
The boy felt that he needed to say what he really felt...
He felt that if he never says this... He would not have another chance...
He didn't want to lose this girl...
He was willing to do everything just not to lose her...
It was the last movie of the day...
It was now or never..
A few minutes more and the movie would end...
And what was supposed to be the best day would end as well...

A few more minutes before the credits and he said it...
He said "Uhmmm...."....
The girl looked at him with curiosity and asked him what was the matter...
He said
"We've been friends for some time now...
We've been through a lot now..
Maybe it's the romantic movies that makes me say this but I really L~~....."

The girl interrupted just before the boy was going to say the words...
The girl smiled and quickly held the boy's hand and said
"I know... I love you too..."

The both just stared at each other...
The movie was already on its credits...
Even though the two are silent with their stares... A thousand words we're already spoken...

The boy then got out of what seemed like a trance...
He said "I thought you we're going to interrupt with a joke..."
The girl laughed at him and said "I got the feeling you we're going to say it so I just said what I felt first..."

The clock was on 8:30....
He said that it was late...
specially in a place like the province where there we're limited lights outside...
The girl asked him "Your going to take me home??"
The boy quickly replied with a yes...

They walked outside...
What was surprising is that it wasn't dark outside at all...
The stars illuminated the sky...
Just for the two of them...
The both of them held hands...
Under the starry sky they walked...

They finally reached the girl's house...
She said "Thanks for the day... I really enjoyed it"
The boy said "Your not the only one who enjoyed it even though I fell asleep"
The girl laughed...
At the gate of the girl's house...
She hugged him and gave him a quick kiss and said "I love you... goodnight..."
The boy said "I love you too..." followed by another stare under the starry night...

The best December of their lives...

If I could....

This post was supposed to be about my desktop...
Unfortunately someone turned the radio on and the tunes playing we're so sentimental...
I meant really old tracks...

From the title...
Well the idea just popped out of my mind...
A quick flash in my head...

If I could...
I said this line a thousand times...
If I could get a dollar every time I said this then I would be really loaded by now...

If I could just change something...
If I could have done something to help that person...
If I could have just studied last night...
If I could change the wrong actions I made...
If I could just disappear with the air...
If I could bring back those precious moments we had...

I'm getting sick of saying this line...
If I could... oh shut the hell up...
Judging from all those If's....
I'm guessing that I really regret a lot of what I have done...
It's not like I could avoid some of my mistakes...
Some just happened instantly....
They happened when I wasn't expecting them...
They we're inevitable...

But I thank some of my mistakes...
For example... If I didn't make the mistake of choosing of the wrong P.E. course....
then I could have not met her...
that was just one of them...

If I could just end this post with something cool...

I know...

I'll be greeting some of the people I know

Merry Christmas to....

ALL OF YOU...

If I could just list you all T_T

Why?

Why did you change your layout?

Why did you restart your cbox?

Are you planning on stopping this blog?

Why did I start this blog?
--------------------------------------------------------------------

So I'll answer this 4 questions because I'm just so bored...

Firstly, I changed my blog's layout because I felt that the previous one was getting boring...
I was starting to get bored of the same style over and over again...
I'm pretty sure that I will change the layout again once I find some good pics...
So basically this was a product of boredom...

Second, Well I restarted the chat box because there was an unknown spammer leaving worthless messages...
That person was all talk and no show... literally
He's got nothing to prove yet he has the nerve to piss others...
If that person doesn't like my blog then fine... but if he or she keeps spamming then that person should be able to prove his or her words...
or else I'll dedicate the very worst post I could make just for you...
Though I have a feeling that person doesn't read my blog anyway...
All he or she does is spam at the cbox... I know, that person's an idiot. ^^

Third, are you crazy?
I'm not stopping this blog...
never... maybe I'll stop posting if I get busy with schoolwork but that doesn't mean I'm stopping this blog...
If I could... I'll print all my posts and keep it safe somewhere...
But for now... I'll keep it here for all you readers to see and appreciate or criticize...
By the way... For those people who told me personally and pm'ed me at ym...
that my blog was awesome and that it was good.... Thank you very much... I appreciate it ^^

Lastly... Well this will be a long reason but I'll try to keep it very short...
The reason why I made this blog is you...
yes you...
all of you readers...
all of you who gave me an idea on what to write...
all of you who said something to me that kept stuck in my mind...
every one of you people ^^

Just a little more time and it's Christmas...
I'm waiting...
to tell you the truth...
even at this age...
I still believe in Santa...
that's all ^^

The caged boy....

Years ago there lived a little boy named "Mac-mac"
Mac-mac was not different from the other kids...
In fact, he was just like the others...
Mac-mac spent his days by taking his bike around the town...
Then he would meet his friends...
His daily activities we're always like that...
He was always happy...
He never seemed to run out of joy...
He enjoyed his well deserved freedom...
But things like this never last...
One day... Everything disappeared like a flash...

Mac-mac's bike just started to deteriorate...
At first, he was okay with it so he spend the afternoons with a walk...
But calamity just started...
His friends started to disappear...
He can no longer see his cheerful playmates...
The sidewalks we're silent...
So was his heart...

To compensate the missing of his friends...
Mac-mac just played with his toys...
Mac-mac really loved cars...
His toys we're full of cars...
Toy cars filled the room...
Mac-mac was in his own artificial paradise...
But they took his own paradise too...

His own paradise was taken from him...
His toy cars we're taken from his own hands...
They never even bothered to look at the boy...
Mac-mac was crying his heart out...
Not only was the deterioration of his bike, the sudden disappearance of his friends we're enough...
They had to take his own paradise also...
They never looked on the boy's tears...
they we're heartless no doubt...
Poor boy... his happiness was taken from him... his joy...
Everything he cherished...

Then all of a sudden...
He was locked in a cage...
A four sided prison...
No way out...
There we're no window also...
He spent the remainder of his days with just a single light bulb above his head....
Then he was forced to read...
He was forced to read incomprehensible books...
He never even understood half of what was he reading...

Poor old boy...
His happiness was forcibly torn apart from him...
His friends... his paradise... they took it all...
He was forced to live in a cage without anything....
No love... No care... No one even bothered to ask him if he was alright...
They only gave him books and food...
He was only given the things he needed to live biologically...
But inside, he was broken...
Not broken but shattered...
A boy at such a young age is tormented without mercy...
That boy was kept in that cage for the remainder of his life...

Until now...

Worthless Planning....

Why plan ahead if every thing gets ruined at the final minute?
You worked so hard to make a schedule yet at the end, it all gets ruined by some external force...

I'm saying this crap because this always happened to me...

In those ordinary days...
When I plan something, it is always delayed by 2 to 3 hours...
No matter how much I try to resist being late...
I always end up doing any tasks at the final minute...
Some, I even tend to forget...

Now that the holidays are just around the corner...
I'm planning something big...
I'm planning to take my friend and some other people if they're willing to go on a date...
Yep, a date...
So far, it's just the two of us...

Now the problem is that everything I planned weeks ago was ruined in just mere hours...
Firstly, this week was loaded... Yes, Loaded...
Loaded of quizzes, assignments, and other crap...
The sad fact is that this week is the "Paskuhan" for UST students yet we get crushed by school work...
Second, well there is no second... I guess I'm mentally blocked at the moment...

A tip I learned from my friends... "Never plan ahead"
Now I realize that what they said was correct...

I realized also that having no schedule does have its bright sides...
Specially when it comes to dates or group outings...
Something interesting always happen in between your precious plans...
Though you get pissed off... in the end, you say that it was the best day of your life...
So why plan ahead?
Why not try the joy that will happen instantly and unexpectedly...

So now, I'm ripping my hard worked plans apart...
I'm going with the flow...
I'll let God decide what happens next...

Now a tiny spark in my mind that needs to come out...
"Love or Hurt doesn't matter anymore at the moment for love has taken it's toll...
The love in my heart buried those painful memoirs six feet under...
It's too much to be in truth...
It's something I never experienced...
It's something I never dared to experience before...
Because too much emotions such as this can kill...
Yes, it can seriously kill...
Not just emotionally but physically...
I'm afraid that one day, I'll be left at broken pieces once more...
A part in my life where it mysteriously repeats over and over again...
But what do I know?
I'm just a human...
Imperfect...
I can't predict what will happen next...
Either be loved or be hurt...
I'm just gonna go with the flow of life...."

~Bored~

My Idea...

Just a quick thought before I fall to slumber...
An idea that sprung to my mind like a flash...
Just a mere product of the creative mind or a product of extreme boredom...

Here goes...

Knowledge...
It refers to almost everything...
To do something, you need this...
You can't just build a rocket without knowing anything about it...
You can't achieve anything without knowledge...

So to have knowledge...
the key is to learn...
To learn how the procedure goes...
To learn how to build something...
To learn on how to succeed...

But you can't learn everything from studying...
Yes, studying...
The number 1 factor of all students...
Heck, everybody needs to study...

You can't learn everything just by cramming all the books in the world...
even if you have all the world's books dated even if it was dated from the beginning of time...
You just can't learn all from it...
same goes to school...
there are things that you just can't learn from it...

Do you learn to walk at school?
Do you learn how to breathe at school?
Do you learn how to eat at school?
dinner table manners, a yes definitely but how to eat? I don't think so...

And of course...
You can't learn on how to love at school...

Some of the things....
You just learn from other people...
a knowledge passed down from person to person with no definite end...

Because you learn other things from first hand experience...
You really can't be an island...
A cat in a pack of wolves....
You can't be a loner...

The first time you experience disappointment...
It hurts, definitely...
that's when the people called friends came along...
they helped you get over quickly on that dark piece of memory...
Congratulations... You now learned friendship...

Some books try to depict on how life is...
saying on how to act like this or that...
but it's only the writers perspective...
there are just things that you have to learn by experiencing it...

for example...
there's a book I saw the other day on how to be a "Romeo"...
Yeah I know, the book sucks like hell...
After trying to read some of the pages...
I wanted to burn the book....
The book said that to be a lover...
you need to impress someone...
try to do something different...
change yourself...

what a load of crap!

Change yourself?!
oh please... The one you love should be able to accept you no matter what you are...
A goody two shoes, a gangster, or maybe a nerd...
whatever you are... your supposed to be accepted on what you are and not try to change yourself so badly that you begin to forget who you really are...
Trust me, I came from this road...
I tried to change myself that made her unsure on who was the real me...

Do something different?!
another load of crap...
There are multiple ways to captivate the heart...
it depends on the person you're attracted to...
you'll be surprised that you have already captivated her just from your own kindness...
I'm not saying that trying to do something different is wrong...
it's just... it really doesn't apply to all...

The thing that made me got me angry was the saying "very effective"...
The writer must be on drugs or something...

I'm sorry if I put too much on the crappy book....

back to topic:

Well knowledge is the key to everything...
its what lead minds to greatness...
its the key to human improvement...
to vaccinate deadly viruses....
to make the impossible probable...

To gain knowledge is to learn first...
but you can't learn all from one source....
the world is huge...
knowledge is everywhere...
ideas are on every corner...
Try to learn something new from other people...
you'll be surprised on how much you'll gain...

Yep....
I'm falling to my slumber...
A good night to all....

Here we go again...

The never ending loops of life...
It's killing no doubt...

I'm always lured like a fish...
and when I get caught...
they try to catch me yet I escape but with scars that remain for life...
It hurts... the scars I mean...

No matter how much I avoid it...
I'll always be the target...
They'll do their best to catch me like I have the biggest bounty on my head...
But they fail...

Love and Hurt...
the two words that remain inscribed in my mind...
and of course, it's tattooed in my heart...

when I try to love...
In the end, I'm hurt...
it never stops...
it keeps repeating over and over again...
so much that I'm beginning to feel nothing...
I'm close to the state of being numb...
Just a little more and its over...

I gotta love carefully now...
better yet... try to resist love for now...
but I just can't...
it's a strong temptation...
a magnet to be more precised...

Just the other day I was lured to another pitfall...
I'm trapped again...
No choice but to go with the flow...
Maybe this will be finally different...
or maybe its just like the other...
only in a different disguise...

No matter...
Whatever happens, I know someone will be at my back...
No choice but to love once more...
and be prepared for the dire consequences or not...

Functionality....

What is the reason I try to grasp on to reality?
What are the reasons for me still breathing?
Why is it that even though the world crushes me, I still move without knowing the reason why...
I tried to find the reasons... I ended up with a puzzle that is indefinite in size...

This is just one of those posts where I try to release the grips of insanity from my cerebral cortex...
I'm so mad this day...
Yet I feel a strong sense of reason that out there, someone's cheering for me in the shadows...
Whenever I try to find my functionality...
I end up gazed in a puzzle...
But when I try to ignore the reasons, My mind is locked on to success...

So this afternoon I was caught by the dean using my PSP...
I was so pissed at myself for my guard was always on high alert...
But when I removed my guard for just a second, Life assassinated me faster than I could realize it...
My PSP sure attracts trouble...
Back at the 1st semester, my friend who was using my PSP was caught by one of the guards in the faculty of Engineering...
Now, I got caught but not by a guard but by the freaking dean...

As always...
My ID was confiscated and I needed to talk to the assistant dean who was way much scarier and much more smarter...
So when I got to the dean's office...
My first ever interrogation started...

At first the assistant dean was calm... he was smooth...
But as his questions added... trying to contradict him was merely impossible...
My words we're easily drained...
I ran out of reasons so easily...
Damn...
In the end he made me sign a form then he returned my ID at last... *YEY!*

After exiting the dean's office...
I tried to be so angry but I just can't...
My heart was calm...
I was surprised for usually my heart would turn ablaze in these situations...
But this time, it was different...
It was calm as if nothing happened at all...

After exiting the building...
I saw Flynn, Joselle, and Dani...
The first and third we're my PE mates...
The second one was my classmate back in 1st semester...
They we're hanging outside the building because they we're going to have a practice for their PE activity...
Of course they we're 3 people short for they were originally 6 people...
They tried to practice even though they were 3 people less...
I accompanied them of course because I really wanted to burn some time...
and to forget about my previous mishap...

They practiced until 3pm and then we said our goodbyes...

On the way home, my body was tired like hell...
I kept falling asleep during the ride home...
And no matter what I do, I was still sleepy...

Now, I'm currently finishing my post and then off to finishing my report in my Rizal Course and then to study for my advance algebra test tomorrow and to sleep of course...

I can finally go on with my life even though her memories sting me like crazy...
They are merely memories and nothing else...
Even though I see her daily... It doesn't hurt anymore...
I can finally say I have recovered though I don't know the reason why...
I don't know why but from all this hurt I felt, I still recovered...

Questions fill the mind of a confused being...