The cold's embrace...

5:00am, I was woken by continues knocks on my door
And as I rise from the bed that pulls me back
The cold embraces me once again
Giving me one message, I'll never let you go...

While I eat this tasteless breakfast of mine
I hear the news from the telly behind me
If I was to summarize it into one word
It would be "death" and nothing more

Even at the showers, it still embraces me
The cold embrace outweighs even the hottest water
Shivering I may be from my quick bath
Being absent was not a given choice for me...

As I leave the premises of the place I call home
I was offered to wear a jacket by my dearly mother
But I declined her gracious offer
I wanted to feel more of the cold's embrace in my skin...

A trip to school was nothing special
Traffics and such we're daily delays I was used to
If there was something new to happen
It would be someone dying in front of me which was improbable

4 hours of mathematics, 1 hour of history
1 day of pain
A pain in the mind like a thorn stuck in the throat
But something strucked me before this day ended...

Dismissal, a time I always adored...
To run away from this mediocre problems
To have time to just sleep and live
To just escape from the insanity of heavy studying...

My watch was on 1:15...
I walked by the place we called "Plaza mayor"
The cold embrace was gone, the bright sun defeated the cold
Or so I think it was...

As I walk, I saw her waiting for me...
Curios I was, I went closer to her
She was staring at my eyes today
Something was wrong with this scene...

We talked, rather than stare all day
She asked the question I wanted to say all this time
My heart started to beat like a drum
What else could I say but the dramatic yes...She talked back...

Something was wrong with this scene
I was right, everything was to fall apart
I heard those words like a gun firing beside my ears
The words that was like an angels choir in my ears...

We just stared the whole minute...
What else was there to say...
Words we're not enough to depict the moment that lasted for a minute
As I walked her home, I stared at her as she crossed the street...
As if I was stunned by some illumination...

Fin...

Breaking the chain...

I'll try to end my chain of crappy posts...


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Untitled...

The evening is cold once again...
Cold physically yet also emotionally...
I sit on this old chair of mine once again...
This chair that gave these ideas of mine and mine alone...

I think of something to write...
Though I only end with periods and nothing more...
My ideas, a complete blank for now...
My mind, is trapped in a vortex of emptiness...

One idea did come to me...
An idea that was common to the human mind...
What am I thinking about?
It's love of course.. an idea that's so mundane...

Love is what I see everyday...
In this house, in the streets. and also within the school...
So many couples walk past me...
Holding hand while ignoring every other soul...

Am I jealous at them? no doubt I am...
But love is not what matters...
Everything has it's own consequence...
And love is no exemption...

Everything has its own end...
Riches, Excuses, and so does love...
One way or another, it'll end...
Like a plane falling from the bright lighted sky...

But death isn't the answer for every broken heart...
Not like some of the suicidal idiots around every block...
If you're going to love, then accept the consequence...
That one day, you'll be walking down the street with no one to hold...

With every ending, starts a new story...
Every sad ending, starts a whole new tale...
A broken heart may be hard to mend...
But there's no other answer but to just move on...

As I stand from this chair of mine...
I remembered how much of a fool I am...
A fool to keep reminiscing what is over...
A fool to not realize that it's just over...

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Here's my take in a little poetry...

What now?

I met 1, it ended with a feud...
I met 2, it ended with rejection...
I met 3, who knows what will happen...

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Earlier tonight, I tried to open a backup of a post I deleted in my blog...
And of course... as always, I forgot the freaking password...
So I spent some hours on trying to open this file but I just ended in dead ends...
Finally, because of anger, I wrote my name as the password and then it opened...
Yep, I was really angry yet laughing at myself for being an idiot...
So I read that post titled "Just Ask..."

After reading that post...
I summarized the whole thing into one question and it was...
"How will I tell her?"
How will I tell her these emotions that I feel...
How will I do it smoothly...
I even wrote on that post that I was prepared for the worse... I was wrong...
I thought I was prepared though I was still hurt...
Rejections are really hard to accept...
I know most of you are laughing right now at me...
Go ahead... Laugh... it's ok ^^...
I'm referring to "2"

Prelims are next week and I'm not nervous...
Something's wrong because I'm not worried...
Who wouldn't be worried at a critical time like this?
Either I'm planning to flunk this semester or something else is bugging me...
Maybe it's her... yes, it is her...
I miss her voice, her touch, her dazzling eyes, her eyes...
I thought I can forget about her but I have to face facts that it's impossible...
The painful emotions may not be worse as before but the memories are clear as ever...
Well, it can't be helped...
I tried all ways to resolve our feud but she just won't take my apology...
So I'll just spend the remainder of this life thinking that she'll only be a memory...
No matter how sentimental the memories may be... she'll be nothing more than that...
I'm referring to "1" by the way...

*Wishing brainwashing humans was legal right now*

Now let's talk about 3...
There's one thing that bothers me about her...
Do I really like her? or do I just like how she looks?
Her face or her true self... which is which?
Is this just a mere crush that led to blindness...
The answers are in my head though It's hidden by massive stress...
I'll just go with the flow of life and wait what happens next...
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1-2-3... Why the hell did I write their names as numbers? hahaha
1-2-3... baba agad ng jeep XD

By the way, thanks for the people who read this blog...
We're now at 1000 hits XD yey!
I promise that the next post will be better than this piece of crap :D

As time pass by...

Ever since Christmas vacation...
Everything seemed to change...
The feelings that always took over my thoughts every time I see her just started to fade...
Before, she was illuminating every time I think of her but now...
The feelings I had for her just started to change...

before I continue I just like to say that I'm not Gay XD
because I know that's the first thing you'll think about

Moving on...
Is it because that we're really kept busy by the prelims starting next week?
Or maybe we're just getting tired of seeing each other always...

For now, I'm still hoping that this is because of the prelims next week...
I still love her no doubt...
It's just that the bright spark before is starting to weaken...
I'm getting paranoid once again...

Now I look back at all the things I've done starting from the 1st day of college...
All those memories we're truly something to be kept...
some to be laughed at and some to be just forgotten...

I just realized that some of the people I hated before are now my closest friends...
Though some of the people I cherished suddenly became my source of anger...
I won't list those people because they pretty much know who they are...
The first people I met during the 1st semester is now turning into a blank...
Maybe because I rarely see them now...
Though the funny thing is that we're separated by only one wall...
Yes, only one wall...
But because of my classes and of course my usual laziness, I rarely see them now...
I hope they still remember me as I still try to tattoo their faces in my mind...

The friends I though I have forgotten...
They just came suddenly...
And I thank them for coming at just the right time where I was really down at the dumps...
I thought they have forgotten me but I was wrong... they never did...
They we're still there at my back... I just didn't look back but they stayed...

Do you believe in love at first sight?
I dont.... no one believes that saying anyway...
But I do believe in blinded at first sight...
the first time you see her and you already want her...
but the truth is you don't...
you don't love her... you just love how she looks and not how she acts...
it's pretty much like falling in love with a beautiful bitch...


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*this post is brought to you by boredom and nonsense XD*

It ended with a blast...

This is a continuation from my previous post...

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It was the night of December 31st...
it was a cold night...
a little bit of fireworks can be heard due to the fact that only a few more hours and it's new year...
everyone was busy in every house...
busy with cooking and preparing for what seemed to be a grand event...

the clock was on 10:00 when the phone rang...
the boy picked up and said hello...
his eyes grew large when he heard the girl's voice...
they talked for a couple of minutes and then the girl asked him to celebrate new year with her...
the boy quickly accepted the girl's request...

11:00...
it's getting more noisier...
the boy's family was already firing up some fireworks...
it was supposed to be a grand night...
but the boy has a secret that only he and his family knows...
he was supposed to tell the girl that very night...
little did he know, everything was going to fall apart...

11:30...
the boy was woken by the phone...
he didn't know that he already fell asleep...
he answered the phone quickly since he was beside it in the first place...
his love was on the other line...
the girl was checking up on him to remind him of their little celebration...
the boy said that he didn't forget about that though he didn't tell her that he fell asleep...
the girl said that she'll be waiting at their house...
then she hanged up...
when the boy hanged up also, there was a huge explosion...
the boy thought that it was only the fireworks...
suddenly, one of his relatives screamed that one of the neighbors house was on fire...
the boy rushed outside...
he prayed that the burning house did not belong to his love... his prayer was unanswered...
one look and he quickly knew that it was his love's house...

he ran outside...
he disregarded the beautiful lights in the sky...
he ignored the thick smoke around the neighborhood...
his eyes was fixed on the house...
he slipped though he ignored the wound and continued with his running...

he finally arrived at his love's house...
he could see her family and other relatives...
the girl's mother was weeping outside...
everyone was outside except for one... she's still inside...
fire fighters ran inside the house...
it took them a couple of minutes until they got out of the burning house but they we're carrying someone...
the girl was completely burned...
she had wounds everywhere...
she was going to die no doubt...
the boy rushed to his love...
she was still breathing...
she held her hand up and gave him a small box...
she said "It's for you... I Love you......."
her hand dropped...
the girl's family saw the lifeless corpse... there was silence and tears we're seen everywhere...
the boy held the small box with a tight grip...
though he hid his tears...

2:30 in the morning...
he got home from the hospital...
everyone was silent...
what was supposed to be the best night turned into complete sadness...
the boy ran straight to his room...
he cried in his bed... and cried... and cried...
when he reached the table, he felt the small box that his love gave to him...
he opened the small box and saw...
he saw a flash drive...
he wondered why the girl would give him a flash drive...

he opened his computer...
he plugged in the flash drive and he saw that there was a video that had the name "For you my love"
he played the video and saw some pictures accompanied by some tunes...
the pictures belonged to the two of them...
pictures of the moments they had during that week...
moments that could never come back...
moments that was taken away thanks to flames...

at the end of the video, there was a little clip from the girl...
she said how much she loves him and that she hopes that they'll be together forever...
the boy cried again..
he was suppose to tell the girl that he had a heart disease from birth...
doctors said that it can't be healed and that he can die any second...
but thanks to wonderful care from his family and some medications, he lived up to this moment...
he never got the chance to tell the girl how much he loves her...

the week they had was the final time they'll be together in this world...

the boy slept at his bed and left the computer running...
he was awoken by a voice that called his name...
he saw a silhouette beside his bed...
when he was fully conscious, he saw that it was the girl...
she held out her hand to him...
she said "let's finally be together forever..."
he held out his hand to her...
they walked outside and saw that the sky was full of stars once again...
they both smiled and kissed under the beautiful sky...

the next morning...
the boy's parents found the boy dead...
he died in his sleep...
but his corpse had a smile at his deathbed...

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What a sad post to start 2009....

I'm going to sleep now...